1/8/11

Wow, how time flies huh! Over 3 years ago, Steve and I made a commitment to Tyler that we would fight with all we had to help him battle autism, early intevention is key right? We'd set aside our marriage, our wants/sometimes needs, to do what we needed to do to help Ty. In hindsight, I can't imagine where Tyler would be if we hadn't made that big of an effort. He certainly has a long road a head of him, however he's happy, he's found a way to communiate, his body seems to be healed to the ponit where he can eat freely and without objection. All and all that's what is most important, he's happy, he can be well nourished, and he can communicate. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I had wished for more./ I really wish that Ben and Tyler had a better relationship. Ben told us the other day how he doesn't like Tyler's autism, honestly we don't either! I also wished he was talking by now, yeah, he has a way to communicate and hopefully by the time he's an adolescent, if he's still not talking, he'll have a more socially acceptable device like a cell phone, that also can act as his method of communication. Those would be my two wishes if I could have had just a little bit more progress.

Compared to where Tyler was at 12 months and 18 months, he's amazing. We can go outside now without him dropping to the ground to bang his head into the concrete, walkigng the dog was incredibly stressful in our house. We can set food at the table and he will freely eat on his own with utensils and not being strapped into the chair. He's wanting to be around people and participate in group activities more. He is able to go to restaurants and out in large public places without melting down. Our life has gotten signifantly easier in the past few years as a result of these improvements.

So as we near Tyler's 5th birthday, and also the end of that "window" that everyone talked about for the timeframe that intensive intervention would make the most impact. I'm ready to slow down. Good thing because I'm pretty sure we are out of steam, lol. Doesn't mean we are going to give up, not by any means. We'll still continue with private speech, we'll still go on to music therapy (update on that in a bit) but we are ready to slow down other efforts that cause us so much strain. We are officially done with B12 shots, the stress that it's creating and the cost are just no longer worth the benefit. We will continue to give him methyl b12 orally. We also have cut out quite a few of his supplements not only for savings but we aren't really wanting to give him anything that's not helping so to speak so we continually testing by taking out certain items and those that we don't see any sort of negative impact, we stop all together. Last but not least, I'm going to relax more at home. I feel pressure to make each interaction with Tyler some sort of learning opportunity, I know this is a result of a study and for very good reason has helped so much, however, it sometimes makes getting life accomplished hard and causes arguments in our houselhold. I'm done with feeling that pressure. I guess i look at it as worst case scenario, if Tyler never improves from this point (which is impossible cause he's such a smarty pants), I accept that fate. I feel like it's time to refocus on our whole family and my marriage. Time to get us all happy again as one big family and let the schools and therapists do their magic with Ty.

As most of you know, we are moving in 3 weeks. That will likely be pretty hard on Ty so we are strategizing about ways to support him through the transition. This is a big step for us. One that made me give up the last piece of the future I had once dreamed of as well as our credit rating, but more importantly it's the first step in my new dream, a happy, more relaxed, family. We will be renting a house, very similar to our house now, in a nice neighborhood with a little park 2 blocks away. We researched options a lot and chose these area (and had to fight a bit to get the house!!) because it's in a township so that rent is lower since taxes are lower. We could get a 2 bedroom condo within the city of ann arbor or a 3 bedroom house within the township for the same amount of money. We also researched schools for Ben, Tyler is placed upon his need but Ben will go to whatever homeschool is assigned to the area. The school Ben will be going to is the smallest elementary in ANn ARbor and each parent I have talked to sang it's praises. Ben struggled with the transition to preschoool and I wanted Kindergarten to be as small as possible. I felt really good about being able ot finally factor Ben into our decisions as well.

That's all from us, although January has been a horrible month for us in terms of finances, emotional and soon to be physical toll, even work has been really difficult, we know that there is light at the end of the tunnel:) I am going to welcome it with open arms. THanks a million times over for all the love and support from family and friends who have given us more over the past 4 years than we could ever give back. We could not have done it with you and your dedication to Tyler and our family is so appreciated.

xoxoxo

Melissa