1/27/10 Babies

Oh my...my babies are definetly growing up. Ben has had dry pants (no accidents) all week :) He's doing so well. School wants to try a new approach with Tyler but I told them that I wanted to give Ben a couple of weeks to soak in the attention he deserves for being such a big boy before we move the focuse and therefore attention to Tyler. I don't want Ben to regress at all when he sees Ty get all thep otty attention, potty training Ben has been a year in the making and I want to make sure we keep moving forward :) Oh and 4T shirts are almost too short on them now. I can't believe how much they've grown since fall.

On a down note, Tyler is begining to be restrictive again with what he will eat. Over the past 6 months, he's stopped eating some of his favorites such as spaghetti, yogurt, cereal, pretzels, cookies. He'll eat meat(chicken, beef, hot dogs, fish sticks, etc) no problem and oranges and pineapple but I can't get him to eat any potatoes other than french fries, no rice. He's down to one or two things for breakfast. Oh and he still likes his homemade pizza but in general we may have to start addressing food issues with him again which I was really hoping we were over that hump. The good news is.. he eats very well the few thinsg he does like so I want to make sure that we don't make it a control issue and I have to remember he is 3 and many toddlers restrict their diets to their favorites so hopefully this is just a normal development issue and not something more sensory related where he starts hating food again.

January 21, 2010 - Brotherly Love

It's been almost 4 years in the making but I think the boys are really starting to care about eachother. Tyler is definetly more interested in what Ben is up to than he used to and also initiates play with him a bit more. Ben on the other hand even though he doesn't come out and say he loves Ty Ty, he says a lot of things that shows just how much he cares. For example, a week or so ago, I asked Ben if he'd help me when I get older and it's harder for me to do things on my own. I asked if he'd help me fix appliaces and take care of me if I'm sick, etc. He said, "I can't, I'll be taking care of Ty-Ty, I'll need to make sure he doesn't get hurt!"... aweee....... That's a pretty mature response from a 3 year old, mind you we've never ever talked to ben about having to take care of Tyler or anything like that. Then this morning, I checked Tyler's diaper to see if he had pooped before we were gettign in the car to head to school. Ben says, if he did poop, we have to take money out of my jar? (bens reward system) I didn't answer. THen Ben said, if he's dry, to we add money to the jar? He goes, hey, I want to share my money and my toys with Ty-Ty. He earns money for going potty to buy toys. we tried to rationalize with him that we would have more money for toys if we didn't have to buy so many diapers. Ok, more on potty training later. The point is, he's really starting to say things that show me how much he cares about Tyler. Even when he talks about Star wars characters and who will be what, he gives Tyler a character name. Oh and yesterday, they held hands on the way into daycare :) Oh my goodness, my heart is totally gonna melt when they actually start laughing and playing together on a daily basis. I guess I should be thankful that they weren't that way from the beginning.. because now I will know just how beautiful it erally is since I've waited so long. Sometimes experiencing both sides of any situation makes you appreciate life a little more.

Ok, on the potty training front. yeah, carrie! Oh how we love miss carrie and wish she was a permanent resident in our home! Her expertise is helping us in our year long quest for Ben to be potty trained. She said diapers were his biggest reinforcer and it wouldn't matter what else I did reward system wise, the diaper would win as long as he had it on. So we switched him to underwear over the weekend so the messy days would be at home and not daycare. By the time he went to daycare on monday he was doing much better and yesterday he only had one accident all day and he caught himself, it wasn't even enough to get his pants wet :) Finanlly!... and it comes just in time, our flex spending runs out this month so we have to find an extra $80 a week to pay for speech.. not buying so many diapers will definetly help!

As for Ty, he's becoming more social on his own (without prompts) meaning he's starting to say hi (wave not really say it) and greet people (hug) or say bye (wave) all on his own and really seeming to enjoy the interaction. Last night I did tell him to say good night to Steve na dBen (it as family movie night and they were watching the movie but Ty was tired) and he waved and I said give them kisses and he blew them kisses. So sweet and so smart. Last night he ran over to the couch cause he got excited about the tv but there was still pizza sauce on his hands from dinner so I said Tyler dont' you dare touch that couch. Of course he understood me. he really understands so much of what we say to him now, it's just awesome. He's donig so well.. I was mentioning to Steve last night how I'd really like to know what has helped and what hasn't. If I could go back in time and see his future if we hadn't done anything extra to help him or if we hadn't done teh biomed or if we hadn't done the study, etc. Where would he be now. How much of his abilities are coming naturally and hjow much are coming becuas we are intervening.. Any wya about it.. he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than he used to be and we are really excited about the future of our whole family.

xoxoxoxo

1/19/10

At our last parent support group meeting at Tyler's school we talked about our hopes and concerns for the upcoming year but also reflected back on 2009. The most significant change we see in Tyler compared to a year ago, is his ability to cope in a variety of situations. Whether it's giving up a preferred toy, going to a new surrounding, being around new people, or being around large groups, lights, etc. He seems to be able to tolerate much more than he used to, and as a result, we are able to do much more than we used too. This weekend was a perfect example. Ben started soccer this past Saturday. I wasn't quite sure how Tyler would handle the new surrounding and I also wanted to be there to support Ben in this new endeavor as I knew he would be anxious about it all. So I made sure both Steve and I would be able to go. We brought a bunch of toys for Tyler to play with and he did great. NI fact we didn't even have to get out anyu toys for the first 15 minutes or so, he was enjoying watching the kids. Then he played with his toys for a bit, then he got up and ran around the gym and we let him since it didn't seem to be harming anyone. Anyway, I realized that we could totally manage soccer with one parent if we had too. There was a time not too long ago that I would have had to find ways to support Tyler just getting out of the car and walking to an unkown place and into unknown doors, etc. I would have had to transition him with objects, coaching, swinging him, etc. Now I just tell him what we are doing and lead him in the right direction and he handles it all pretty much like any other kid. Wow... it's amazing to think we've came that far. Ok, and the second biggest thing is that Tyler has become a fully independent eater, FINALLY :)))) There are occasions when I want to sneak in a green vegetable or something I'll hide it in a bite of pizza or something that's really liquidy that we'll assist but in general, he's eating all on his own. AMAZING. We still have a ways to go in other areas obviously...speech of course, peer interaction/socialization, and his sensory issues with food are still an issues but now he's more leaning towards spitting out the item vs. vomiting which is obviously far preferred :)

Since we couldn't afford to get Ben into preschool and couldn't figure out a way to make the schedule work, we agreed to get him involved in more social activitse and that's how soccer came into play. In this soccer class, they learn drills adn how to follow directions and of course there is that peer interaction. Ben had a great time at first but then seemed to get a little insecure about it all and the middle of class was hanging around us and then we made him go back and join circle time at the end. So all and all it went about how we expected. we really want him to start learning he can't do what he watns when he wants and we want him to learn to be patient, and play with kids who he's not familar with. You see, Ben hasn't had nearly the socialization of other kids his age becuase of Tyler. We tended (for the reasons mentioned above) to avoid a lot of activites becuase it was just so darn hard to get Tyler there, keep him calm, etc. and then it seemed that no one had fun when we actually decided to go somewehre so it wasn't worth it. Therefore, Ben really hasn't had much opportunity to socialize outside of daycare, and there's only one other child there his age. WE definetly hope to get Ben into preschool in the fall. Especially now that we seem to be making headway with the potty trainign. We've done away with diapers except at bedtime/naptime. He seems to have less accidents this way. I checked the blog from one year ago today to see what my main discussion point was and it was how we were starting to potty train Ben.. 1 year later, sigh.

In terms of speech, had a dream the other night that Tyler said "bye bye" and then he said "baby bear, baby bear, what did you see?"..... it was a great dream. i think I am having them more often now because he's making more sounds now. He's really trying hard to make the consants.. we've been working the "b", "l" and "m".... lately and he's doing very well.

Here is the video I mentioned the other day. The video is of Ben but you can clearly hear Tyler say "ma-ma" twice and run to me. I was just so astonished when I saw this video. I do not remember him having this skill.

Tyler sometimes wakes up before we are ready to get him so he just plays in his room. When Steve opened the door yesterday, he found TYler playing with the alphabet cards. Steve went back to finish getting ready and when he came back, Tyler had all the cards laid out like you see, in teh appropriate alphabetical order (a couple of the cards have gone missing overtime so he just kept on going to the next letter). He's such a smart little dude.

Remember months ago how I mentioned that Tyler's new DAN doctor mentioned how he'd cnosider Tyler to have "mild" autism.. music to our ears of course:) Anyway, I loev it when professionals who work with Tyler tell me how well he's doing. I of course think he's doing great compared to who he once was, however, I don't often see other children with autism for longer than a minute or so and I really do not have anything to compare and standardized tests put him as moderate/severely affected which alwasy bothers me. I don't believe tests are comprehensive of his skillset especially since they are often admnistered in an non-normal setting by people who do not often interact with Tyler, etc. Ok I'll wrap it up, my point it, speech made me feel very good the other day. I can't put my finger on exactly what was said that put a smile on my face but just a general concensus that Tyler doesn't have a lot of issues, he's a very happy little boy and he tolerates a lot of "pushing" without much behavioral issues. Our hope as always is that one day Ty will be indistinguishable from his peers. That would rock! Anyway, more video. This one of speech shows Tyler being very tolerant of her. She's constantly plugging his nose and moving his mouth, etc. and for the most part he's cool with it. I also am attaching a video of Tyler at the table. I'm trying ot get him to make the "l" sound. Sometimes he does it first try and sometimes I can't get it at all, but as you can see he's definetly trying.

Oh and the other video is of Ben and Steve playign sword fighting on the Wii.

1/4/09

Happy New Year All! Our plans for this holiday season seemed to somewhat fall through. There were illnesses, remodeling, sick friends, etc. that just seemed to keep throwing a wrench in our holiday plans. We decided to take the boys to a water park over break to get out of the house and do something fun since our other plans didn't' work out. I think they were about 20 months last time we took them to a water park and it was very difficult. This time was much easier, although still couldn't have been accomplished without two parents. Ben isn't nearly as interested in the water as Tyler is. This particular park didn't' really have a pool to swim in just a little kids area, a lazy river and then a big activity center full of slides and water spouts. Tyler loved the water slides, hopefully you can see his huge smile in the picture. Ben seemed to splash a round a bit here and there but over all was bored and kept telling me so. He was however really excited that he got to sleep in a bunk bed on top, that was pretty cool to him. We also played in the arcade. All and all Tyler did great. There were a few moments of uh oh what do we do, like when eh wouldn't eat his cereal for breakfast and it's the only breakfast food I brought for him. Luckily the buffet at the hotel had sausage he could eat so I just filled him full of sausage. Everywhere we go we have to make sure we have food for Tyler. This hotel was great because it had a fridge and a microwave so we could make all his food and store it in our room. Oh, and he discovered Steve's blackberry while we were there and he thought that was pretty cool too! Ps as you can see in the pic, the boys aren't happy which they rarely seem to be when we try to take their pic together, Tyler was not so fond of his wrist band for the water park in hindsight, I should have put it on his ankle. oh well.

It's weird how boys do not play together, I don't think anyone understands it unless you see it, most people assume not only brothers, but twins, hey they must have a ball. My kids don't really like each other much. But Tyler for some reason really wants to play with Ben in the bathtub and I think it weirds Ben out a little so while we were at the water park and I had no bath toys I was trying to come up with a Way o get both boys involved in a game. So we played games such as simon says, however I'd just say "do this" much easier for Tyler to understand and tap my head or something or make an "llll" sound. WE are also trying to help Tyler be aware of his facial features and where they are, he has trouble with self awareness of his face. So I'd ask them to touch their nose, touch their ears, etc. Both boys were really excited to play this game and it was great cause Steve witnessed it so it's something he can do when he does bath time as well. Boys are playing together, Tyler is learning, it's a win - win!

I think I've mentioned before that Tyler can spell his name and tries to write it. The other day I was coloring with Ben and Tyler brought his foam letters to the table and all on his own put them together to show his name.. I looked over and then q quickly got a camera to capture it. He also is really liking his floor puzzle. He has an alphabet floor puzzle and he knows where all the pieces go, however he struggles with eh fine motor skills to actually get it to fit perfectly so we are helping to show him how to shimmy it in place. We are also using the puzzle to help him learn the sign language letters of the alphabet as well as making sure has a good understanding of the colors, animals, etc. that are shown on the puzzle. We want to make sure he knows for example that a zebra on that puzzle is the same thing as a zebra at the zoo which is the same as his model zebra that make noise, etc. he's doing great, sometimes he knows animals that I don't even know he knows. I'll say, where is the worm, and he points to the worm. He's really doing great in terms of his receptive language.

So anyway, back to reality, back to work, school, daycare, etc. and a new year which will hopefully bring a lot of health and happiness to my family and yours.