11/1/08

Halloween night was pretty successful. We went into it with a really good game plan and had supports in place for when they were needed and it all went very well. Tyler went to a good 8 or so houses before he had any issues. He didn't take the candy from people or reach in and get candy but he did willingly walk up to all the houses and had no problem walking up to them and walking away even with all the other commotion and kids around so we were really impressed. We worked on signing for candy and signing thank you and once he had started to show signs of overstimmulation we got out his tricycle so he could ride around with Dad and grandma while Ben trick or treated to get a little bit more exposure to everything without having to full participate. It went great, and Ben had a fantastic time. Ben hit nearly every house in our neighborhood and was out for almost an hour and 45 minutes! He loved it and keeps asking if we can go trick or treating. A big thanks to Grandma for coming to help with Halloween, we could not have done it w/o her, at least not successfully!

Saturday morning we took the boys to the zoo. Ben has literally been asking every day when pick him up from daycare if we can go to the zoo so we took advantage of the warmer temperatures to get one more visit in this year. After much discission, we decided to go as a family (Tyler's not much interested in the zoo yet) and that Dad and Grandma would walk around with Ben and have fun and my role would be to ensure that Tyler stays regulated and trying to get him engaged if possible. Tyler did require quite a bit of support at he zoo but it was expected. In terms of support I mean bouncing, lifting, toy distractors, warning about leaving an area in a certain amount of seconds, signing what we are coming to next and what to expect, but it all worked cause we never had any major meltdowns, I think there was only one time that he kind of put his head down on the ground and I had to protect him. Other than that it was just a lot of bouncing him around and warnings. He even enjoyed the sloth bear, this was a great opportunity for us to practice our bear signing! Oh, Tyler is independently singing for lion. If you point to a picture of a lion and say what's this or if you say what says roar or if you say lion' he'll sign for it' yeah! So we are hoping since he liked the bear so much that we can get him signing bear on his own soon as well. Overall we tried to have a weekend of things Ben wanted to do so I was kind of assigned to Tyler for most of those activities.

WE went on a "bike" ride Sunday morning which is really just Ben pushing his tricycle and then Tyler rides on his while I push him, however Tyler didnt' want to have any part of this activity. We spent a good two minutes iwth his head on the concrete (my hand underneath it) while he got rhough his frustration. I gave him a choice between walking or riding the bike and eventually convinced him that walking was a better option than having our head on the ground. So we alternated between running, walking, and me carrying him. Of course I made sure not ot carry him if I had asked him to walk> once you place a demand you have to follow through with the demands, but to help keep him regulaated I periodically carried him and then Steve helped me "swing" Tyler through the difficult areas on the walk. He doesn't always have trouble with these areas but since the walk started out so rough I figured he needed the extra support. The weekend in general was a lot of stimulation for him with halloween and the zoo so by Sunday I just knew he needed a little extra help. Plus with the changes in school and we've added additional supplements, he's just going through a lot of changes.

But this weekend did bring a lot of concerns for me. I was hoping after the first part of the study ended, I could spend a little more time with Ben, however, since I'm the one trained to work with Tyler and help him through situations it makes the most sense for me to be with Tyler so as a mom, this weekend was tough for me. Torn between the one child that needs you most and the one you feel you are missing out on is very hard. So I'm going to continue my plan to find ways to spend time with just Ben, we just may have to do it outside the house. When I'm home, Tyler very clearly prefers mom and sometimes it's hard for me to even cook. When we try to separate Tyler from me so that it can be easier for me to spend time with Ben alone,T yler doesn't easily forget where I am and sometimes won't even let go of my hand. So again we are dealing with those things, helping him transition to go play with dad even if mom is home. WE are also working to have Dad learn new ways to help get Tyler engaged and of course it would help if we got some new toys to play with so Christmas will be coming at a good time for everyone. But for now, it seems to go best if Ben and I leave the house to go do something together so we are gonna stick with that plan. Oh, Ben said the cutest thing this weekend. I was changing his diaper yesterday and he pointed at my toes and said, "Where's the color?"... ha ha ha. he's used to my toes being painted but Ihaven' thad time and apparently he noticed.

Well I think that's about all for now. Tyler happily went into school today adn they are very happy about his progress.